A pep talk for whoever needs to hear it and reasons to stop chasing people.

Do you ever text a friend more than once over a couple weeks and don’t get a reply? I get it that we all have a lot going on, but it gets old fast.

Don’t get me wrong I love a good chase, but you have to remember that any relationship you have is a two-way street. If you’ve ever felt a wall of one-sided communication from a friend, a lover, or even your job, then keep reading because I have some advice for you on all the reasons to stop chasing people.

Your time is valuable and how you spend it.

The truth is we make time for what we want to make time for. If your friend or date keeps canceling plans last minute and makes no effort to reschedule, take the hint because you don't deserve that sh*t. Propose a new date instead of the classic ‘let’s do something soon'. Don’t be that friend.

Do you actually want to be with someone that you need to constantly go after?

I like to think of any type of relationship like a canoe. You each have a paddle, venturing through deep waters. Is the canoe going straight? Or is the relationship a bit lopsided, where one of you is putting in much more work than the other? If you're just going in circles, what good is that doing you? You won’t get anywhere.

Surround yourself with those that bring you up.

Don’t underestimate the savagery of negative energy. A previous job I had treated me like sh*t and I didn’t realize how much of a chokehold they had me in until I was far from it. You should never be in a situation where a person makes you feel badly about yourself.

As I think back to those fond memories, I see myself as a totally different person now. I was someone who wouldn’t be as confident to stand up for myself, but we live, we learn, and get stronger because of it.

You are a f*cking catch, ok?!

Just be your cool, fun loving goddamn self. If someone doesn’t see that, then move along. If you’re in a situation where you don’t feel comfortable showing all sides of yourself, it probably makes you feel sh*tty. If you need to have your guard up around someone, they probably aren’t your friend.

Gonna go buy a ‘live, laugh, love’ sign from Target now…

Be good,

JB

PS. Sign up to the best newsletter for weekly shower thoughts. Also, make sure to forward it to a friend and add me to your address book so I don’t land in your spam folder.

It's the only dating app in the world that lets you filter out people who aren't pro-choice :)

If you're single and ready to mingle, email subscriptions@okcupid.com for a 3 month complimentary

OkCupid premium subscription.